What are “The Rules”?

You may have read about “The Rules”, perhaps from one of our guest posters or elsewhere on the internet. We should probably take some time to explain what they are.

The Rules lie at the beginning of The Path to La Vie Velominatus, not at the end; learning to balance them against one another and to welcome them all into your life as a Velominatus is a never-ending struggle waged between form and function as we continue along The Path towards transcension.

Source: Velominati › The Rules

Like any sport or pastime there are unwritten rules followed by the “veterans” of that particular interest. In golf for example, there appears to be an unwritten rule that clothing should be horrific at all times. There are some written rules too, such as raking the sand after you’ve dug your ball out of it and replacing your divots after stuffing a shot on the fairway.

Cycling is no different. The written rules are better known as “The Highway Code“, but there are some unwritten ones too. This is what “The Rules” are.

Rule 12 is one we particularly like. It says the correct number of bikes to own is n+1, where ‘n’ is the number of bikes you currently own.

However, there are a few that we really don’t agree with such as rule 34 that states “mountain bike shoes and pedals have their place…on a mountain bike”. Going by “the rules”, the excellent SPD pedals pictured up top have no place on a road bike. This is even though you can walk in the recessed cleats in a dignified manner; they’re double-sided; and the cleats are metal, not plastic which deforms and scratches as you try walking to the cafe or bathroom on a ride. I have both, but the SPD-SL or Look equivalents have almost no upsides, sorry guys.

Rule 52 also shows that they’ve never tried Audax, which is a shame. 200km+ of self-supported riding requires big bottles. Looking after your kidneys out-ranks fashion sensibilities.

The rules are a bit of fun, but we wouldn’t take them seriously. Do what feels right for you. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you ride and that you have a lot of fun doing it. There are some pearls of wisdom to be found among the 95, but to quote Captain Barbossa from Pirates of the Caribbean, they are “more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules”.

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